It is commonly taught that remarriage after divorce is adultery (unless your ex dies) because of what Jesus says in Matt 5:32, Matt 19:9, Mark 10:11, and Luke 16:18. In addition, Paul says something like this in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and seemingly in Romans 7:3. Others may say Jesus contradicts the Torah when he denounces divorce because the Torah allows it (Deut 24:1-4, and Ex 21:10-12). Lastly, according to Malachi 2:16, God hates divorce, yet he “divorced” Israel in the Babylonian exile (Jeremiah 3:8). How do we resolve this?
Jesus doesn’t contradict the Torah, which allows for divorce but only explains or corrects reinterpretations of the Law by the Pharisees. Jesus’s main critique of the Pharisees was that they were substituting God’s law with man-made traditions (Matt 15:1-9). The Pharisees were scapegoating laws in the Old Testament by reinterpreting certain verses. For example, they interpreted Deut 24:1 to allow for “any cause” divorce or adding “hate your enemies” to love your neighbor in Lev 19:18. Jesus, of course, corrected them in Matt chapter 5:31-32 & 5:43-48, as well as Matt ch. 19, Luke 10:25-37.
Jesus affirms the law of divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. The Pharisees came up with ‘any cause’ divorce to allow them to divorce for any reason. The Torah only allows divorce for “uncleanness” or indecency, which likely refers to some kind of wickedness like badmouthing, attempting to poison her husband, committing adultery, etc (Deut 24:1), and abuse of a spouse via neglect of food, clothing, and sex (Ex 21:10-11). There is one case in which the Torah forbids divorce, which is if the marriage is the result of pre-marital sex (Deut 22:28-29). Jesus corrected them in Matthew 19:8 by saying that the law of Moses allowed divorce because of the hard hearts of Israel. Then he references Deut 24:1 correctly by saying you can divorce your wives for “any uncleanness” (like adultery) rather than “any cause.” Jesus was NOT saying that those who divorce their spouses because of adultery are hardhearted. Adultery was a legitimate reason to divorce because the marriage covenant was already broken, and Jesus confirms this in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9. The Pharisees were altering Deut 24:1 to be used for any reason. And they wrote their alternative versions down in the Talmud.
The Talmud on divorce:”…And Beit Hillel says: He may divorce her even due to a minor issue, e.g., because she burned or over-salted his dish, as it is stated: “Because he has found some unseemly matter in her,” meaning that he found any type of shortcoming in her.
Rabbi Akiva says: He may divorce her even if he found another woman who is better looking than her and wishes to marry her, as it is stated in that verse: “And it comes to pass, if she finds no favor in his eyes.” (Talmud: ‘Gittin,’ 9:10)
Jesus calls out the scapegoating of adultery (suggested by Rabbi Akiva) by saying that it counts as adultery if you lust after another woman in your heart (Matt 5:27-30). Therefore, it still counts as adultery even if a man gets a divorce and then remarries a new woman because his motives were driven by lust in his heart, not because his spouse broke the covenant.
In Malachi 2:13-16, God said he hates divorce, which was in the context of what the men of Judah were doing in the post-exile era. They were divorcing their Jewish wives and abandoning them for Gentile idol worshipers (probably shrine prostitutes). This is what angered God; he hates the actions of covenant breakers who bastardized divorce laws to abandon their wives. This reflects the teachings of Rabbi Akiva in the Talmud (Gittin 9:10), who said men can divorce their wives if they find a better-looking woman. Jesus’ response to this, of course, was that they were committing adultery in their hearts.
People often interpret Matthew 19:8 to mean that remarriage after divorce is perpetual adultery and that it was only allowed in the Old Testament because Moses invented it. However, Deuteronomy 24:2 says that a divorced woman can marry another man. God wrote the law, so he invented the divorce allowance, and Moses passed it on to the Israelites. Moses was just the messenger; everything in the Torah is God’s teaching and instruction. God says he “divorced” the northern tribes of Israel in Jeremiah 3:8, so if he can do it, it is allowed under certain conditions. The Israelites broke the covenant by committing idolatry, which is like spiritual adultery.
Throughout the warnings of the pre-exile prophet books, God uses the analogy of marriage for his relationship with Israel, and since they committed adultery (idolatry), he divorced (exiled) them. Of course, God reconciled with Israel later, just like Hosea and his cheating wife Gomer in Hosea ch. 1-3. God uses Hosea’s marriage as an analogy for the exile and restoration of His marriage with Israel. The Torah is God’s word to the people of Israel, which includes Moses because he is just another Israelite. God gave the Torah to Moses, and even Jesus said that all of the Torah is the word of God. Jesus even confirmed that the miracles of the Old Testament that the Israelites often attributed to Moses, like the raining quail and manna from the sky, were done by God and not Moses in John 6:30-33.
Furthermore, Moses’ words are from God; Moses didn’t develop the laws himself. Therefore, the Torah is God’s instruction on things like divorce, which allows for divorce and remarriage in the case of adultery in Deut 24:1-4 and neglect of food, clothing, and sex (in Ex 21:10-11). Jesus confirms the proper use of divorce in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9. The hard-heartedness Jesus references in Matthew 19:8 alludes to both the reasons people are allowed to divorce (like adultery and neglect) and reveals the reason the Jewish leaders want to change God’s law. The goal is to prevent divorce, but because humans sin, it is allowed; this allowance never goes away because none of God’s laws pass away. Jesus said he has not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it (Matt 5:17), and he fulfilled it by giving us the Holy Spirit, who will circumcise our hearts so that we can be righteous. The Jewish leaders had a bunch of traditions in the 1st century that either never came from the Torah or were altered versions of what the Torah said. Some of those traditions continue today, written in the Talmud. Jesus was against the Talmud, a bunch of traditions that Pharisees came up with that contradicted the Old Testament in many cases.
Paul’s comments on adultery regarding a divorced woman getting remarried in Rom 7:3 have to be contextualized. First, in the context of the first six verses of that chapter, he compares marriage to bondage to the law by saying that a woman is bound to her husband when he is living, but free when her husband dies. Likewise, he says in verse 4 that we died to the power of the law when we “died with Christ.” He continues teaching about sin nature and freedom from the law’s curse until verse 6. This verse isn’t about marriage customs; it’s about freedom from the curse of the law. In his example, he says if a woman marries another man while her husband is alive, she commits adultery. He never mentions divorce, which means he is describing bigamy (having multiple husbands at the same time). In the larger analogy, he is saying believers are free from being “married to sin” because when Christ died, so did we die to our fleshly desires that cause sin. This makes us free to marry Christ in this new covenant of eternal life. There is no equivalent of a divorce in this analogy.
Rom 7:4 So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead. As a result, we can produce a harvest of good deeds for God. 5 When we were controlled by our old nature, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death. 6 But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.
In the grander scope, Paul’s letters were primarily written to believers in European cities, so he addressed them by referencing the Roman laws and customs that affected them both. The Roman Marriage Law (Lex Papia Poppaea) had punishments like banishment and even death (for women) in the case of adultery, but their rules on divorce were more lenient. A person could leave for any reason and say they are done, which counts as a divorce. However, in the Bible, people had to sign a divorce certificate, which was only biblically allowed under certain conditions (Deut 24:1, Ex 21:10-11). This means that Paul was contrasting the Bible’s definition of divorce to the Roman Law’s requirements for divorce, which were very relaxed, like the Talmudic system for divorce, which Jesus denounced as heresy. The only serious aspect of divorce in Roman law was that a man was required to divorce an adulterous wife. Since Jesus denounced the casual divorce system used by the Talmud and the Roman Law, Paul aimed to teach them the biblical restrictions on divorce. His comments on divorce, taken into that context, would have suggested that remarriage is not a sin, but rather that the divorce has to be legitimate. Otherwise, it doesn’t count, and the woman would commit adultery. Jesus alludes to this in Mark 10:10-12 because he was addressing illegitimate (Talmudic) divorce among the Jews. Mark 10 is the same conversation as Matthew 19, and Matthew’s version clarifies that the Pharisees ask if a man can divorce his wife for “any cause” (Matt 19:3).
In the Old Testament, divorcees were expected to get remarried (Deut 24:2). For Jews, it was expected that everyone got married and remarried for reproductive purposes because of the command to be fruitful and multiply in Gen 1:28 and Gen 9:1. Furthermore, remarriage was required by Roman law six months after a divorce and one year after being widowed. Celibacy (or unicity) was frowned upon in Jewish culture. Castration (or injury to male genitals) is recognized as uncleanness, and that got a person cut off from the community Deut 23:1. Likewise, in Roman Law, celibacy was punishable with banishment; this is one of many issues that would have put Paul (who stayed unmarried) at odds with both Romans and Jews. Therefore, the idea of a healthy, young, fertile woman just wasting away because she was divorced would have been frowned upon.
Back then, the Israelites had a different obligation; they were to inherit the land and preserve the bloodline until the Messiah came because, through Abraham’s seed, all nations would be blessed (Gen 12:1-3). So, they should make babies by any means necessary. However, we don’t have to make physical babies in the New Covenant to get more people into the Kingdom. We are to teach all nations (Matt 18:28) so they can be BORN AGAIN, the spiritual birth necessary to be a citizen in the Kingdom (John 3:1-8). So celibacy is acceptable and even encouraged by Paul (1 Cor 7:1-7) since he is a eunuch. One eunuch can make more covenant people at a faster rate by preaching the gospel than Jews (or anyone else) can reproduce.
In conclusion, divorce is not a sin if it is done within the biblical requirements (Deut 24:1, Ex 21:10-11). Those passages about a woman committing adultery if they remarried are not in line with Jewish and Roman cultural expectations, and the Bible itself says that divorced women can remarry in Deut 24:2. Celibacy was only encouraged in the New Covenant (in Christianity), so culturally no Jew or Roman at that time would have expected women to stay celibate until their ex-husband died. Reconciliation was encouraged over remarriage in the case of divorce (1 Cor 7:10-11), but Paul, a former Pharisee, would have taken the Torah into account in his letters. In addition, a man could not remarry his wife if she had already been married and divorced afterward (Deut 24:4). Also, in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16, Paul elaborates on an unbalanced marriage where one spouse is a believer, and the other isn’t. He encourages the believer to stay married, but if the unbeliever wants a divorce, then the believer should let it happen. In that case, it would fit in the category of neglect from Exodus 21:10-11, which is a valid reason for divorce since the believer was abandoned and, therefore, can be remarried.
Even if a person got an illegitimate divorce for a lame reason that didn’t involve adultery or abuse/neglect, they would be forgiven if they repented for it according to 1 John 1:9. Then, if remarrying afterward, they should dedicate themselves changing how they perceive marriage and only divorcing if there is a legitimate biblical reason this time. Furthermore, if a person got an illegitimate divorce and remarried before they even became a Christian, then when they get saved, their sins would be forgiven. This is a part of the covenant package for them to have eternal life. So, any form of adultery from before a person receives Jesus should not count against them, especially if their old spouse won’t take them back anyway. It would be ideal, according to Paul in 1 Cor 7:10-11, for them to reconcile. However, a person can’t reconcile if their ex has moved on and gotten remarried or moved away to an unknown place. This would leave them free to remarry because reconciliation is not an option. Especially if the ex has already remarried/divorced again, because there is no reconciliation if the ex has been remarried (Deut 24:4).
Pulpit Commentary on Luke 16:18:
“The teaching of the rabbis in the time of our Lord on the question of the marriage was exceedingly lax and tended to grave immorality in the family life. In the late unlawful marriage of Herod Antipas with Herodias, in which so many sacred and family ties were rudely torn asunder, no rabbi or doctor in Israel but one had raised his voice in indignant protest, and that one was the friend and connection of Jesus of Nazareth, the prophet John the Baptist. Divorce for the most trivial causes was sanctioned by the rabbis, and even such men as Hillel, the grandfather of that Gamaliel whom tradition speaks of as the rabbi whose lectures were listened to by the Boy Jesus, taught that a man might divorce his wife if in the cooking she burnt his dinner or even over-salted his soup (see Talmud, treatise ‘Gittin,’ 9:10).”
Read More of this commentary here
Beit Hillel from that Talmud segment aka Hillel the Elder was the grandfather of Gamaliel. Gamaliel is mentioned in Acts 5:34-40, and he is the teacher of Paul the Apostle according to Acts 22:3.
Talmud reference – Talmud: ‘Gittin,’ 9:10
Interview with Tyndale House Publishing on ‘any cause’ divorce
Ancient Rome – Women and Divorce
Playmobile gospel slide shows on the subject:
Jesus on Divorce Matt 19:1-12, Mark 10:1-12, & Luke 16:18
Four Biblical Reasons for Divorce (Play Mobile Slideshow)
Moses got all of the Law including Divorce from God
Ancient Roman Divorce