In the New Covenant, marriage is not an expectation, as we don’t make new kingdom members by having children, but rather by sharing the gospel. Jesus affirmed the option of being a eunuch in Matt 19:11-12 when talking about people made eunuchs (castrated by emperors), born eunuchs (asexual or possibly intersex), or made themselves eunuchs (either through castration or will-powered celibacy) for the Kingdom.
Matthew 19: (NLT) 10 Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” 11 “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. 12 Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
Paul was a celibate eunuch and even encouraged being celibate in his letter to the Corinthians when talking about marriage (1 Corinthians 7:8). However, he never required celibacy and even suggested getting married if a person can’t control their sexual desires. He recommends celibacy so that Christians can focus on the work of the Kingdom, as single people can concentrate on the Lord’s work without the distractions of familial obligations (1 Cor 7:8-9).
In the Old Covenant, it was expected that everyone gets married because of the command to be fruitful and multiply in Gen 1:28 and Gen 9:1. Castration (or injury to male genitals) is recognized as uncleanness that got a person restricted from the assembly worship (Deut 23:1). Although, this rule from Deut 23:1 may be based on principles associated with health requirements for the priesthood (Leviticus 21:16-24)/ Either way God restricted men from the assembly if they had a broken reproductive system. The Torah never explicitly states that a person must have children to be righteous. Some women were barren, some people died before having children, and others were celibate, so obviously that was not a command. In fact, there is a blessing for Eunuchs in Isaiah 56:1-8. Since Israel and Judah were monarchies, they may have adopted some foreign Gentile monarchy practices from their neighbors, like having only Eunuchs in their inner court. Ebed-melech, an Ethiopian in the court of Zedekiah, is mentioned in Jeremiah 29:15-18, and he is given a blessing for trusting God. Considering his position in the kingdom, he would have been a eunuch. Daniel and the Hebrew boys (and possibly Nehemiah) were also eunuchs since they worked in the inner court of the Emperors. Eunuchs were often castrated in the ancient world to prevent them from sleeping with the emperor’s harem of women.
In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible, Nehemiah is described as a eunuch, rather than oinochoos (wine-cup-bearer). Him being castrated is a possible explanation for why he was allowed to be in the queen’s presence in Nehemiah 2:6, since men would generally have been prohibited from bing in the presence of the queen In Nehemiah 6:10-14, a man named Shemaiah, who was working for two wicked men named Tobiah and Sanballat, tried to trick Nehemiah into going into the Temple by lying to him and saying that there were assassins after him and he should hide in the Temple. He realized it was a scheme to lure him into the Temple. If he were a eunuch and went into the Temple, it would have been a sin, and his enemies could have used that to get him in trouble and discredit him as a man of God. Another possibility he didn’t go into the Temple was that he was uncircumcised. Either way, Nehemiah was the cupbearer of Artaxerxes, and cupbearers, like many men in the inner circle of ancient emperors from various cultures, were often castrated.
In Roman law of the 1st century, it was illegal for a man or woman not to be married between the ages of 25 and 60 (for men) and 20 and 50 (for women). So, for the Romans, celibacy was a crime, and there were restrictions on those who were celibate; this is one of the many issues that put Christians at odds with the Roman Empire. God doesn’t hate eunuchs; in fact, Jesus approves of them in Matt: 19:11-12. Ancient Israelites culturally would have frowned upon such a thing, because they believed it was imperative to have children if you were physically capable, for the sake of growing and sustaining their existence as a nation. In the Old Covenant, the Israelites had a different obligation: they were to inherit the land and preserve the bloodline until the Messiah came, because through Abraham’s seed, all nations would be blessed (Gen 12:1-3). So it makes sense that they should make babies. However, in the New Covenant, we are not required to bear children to fulfill the Great Commission. We are to teach all nations (Matt 18:28) so that they can be BORN AGAIN, which is the spiritual birth that is necessary to be a citizen in the Kingdom (John 3:1-8). Eunuchs can potentially produce more covenant people at a faster rate by preaching the gospel than couples can reproduce, making it a potential benefit for the Great Commission.
A person’s value is not based on whether or not they have physical children. It is not a sin to be childless. The goal of the New Covenant is to love God and our neighbors by sharing his truth. In doing so, we help lead people to be “born” again. Let’s not penalize people for not getting married or choosing not to have children, even while they are married.